i'm leaking

nuff said.

is there another one in there?

This weeks latest flux of emotions have me wondering a few things:
- could there really be another baby?
- who's body is this???

As for the first - my rump is HUGE. Now its been no where near small in recent years, however a recent glimpse of my derriere in the mirror over the weekend has me worried that there indeed could be another fetus growing in my ass. How else might you explain its size in direct proportion to my belly when my weight gain for 24 weeks is ONLY 6 POUNDS?~?~ Fetuses Timmy - Fetuses - that's how.

And for the second mind altering realization. This isn't MY body. I can no longer do what i want. I've been cool with being nice to my body for awhile now. I only have A drink on occasion and i will add - it ins in a measurable glass - not the whole bottle for those familiar with my habits. I don't smoke - even occasionally and i eat my plethora of protein and workout (though not as much as i should).

However despite all this good behavior - i keep getting kicked - LITERALLY. I really just want to go sit in the hot tub for HOURS. Screw the 5 minutes every other week or so. I WANT TO NAP IN A HOTTUB...ohhhhh sleep. I can't imagine a good nights sleep.

They tell me its worth it - and well...it damn well better be cause in the grand scheme of things. I ain't got it 1/2 bad.

Please don't tap the tank

This is my new motto. Unless you played a part in conception - consider it rude to ever touch a belly that isn't yours.

That being said - yesterday we had our first meeting with one of the midwives. I am really happy we made this decision. I love that we get to come home and recover hours after the birth. I love that our birth assistant will come to our home at 36 weeks to check our home and see how i'm doing. I love that she'll come back after the birth and that our midwife will stop by the house and check us out as well. LOVE LOVE LOVE. The only thing i didn't LOVE was being scared half to death that i might not be able to deliver at the birth center due to the placement of my uterus. In case of post-partum hemorrhaging they need to be able to vigorously massage the uterus. Thankfully its ok - but it is something that they will need to reassess at each appt. But I have confidence. We have worked too damn hard for this for it to fall apart now.

Bradley classes are cool - just had week 2 and am still happy with the 'investment'. If only for the relaxation stuff that peter and i are learning.

I'm still trying not to complain, cause this has been the best text-book pregnancy ever, but but but...HATE THIS COLD / or these allergies / or the hormones drying out my nose. But ~ again ~ not complaining. Really...I promise...

22w 2d

So far soooo wonderful. This past few days i've really been feeling like i'm going to be a mommy! I'm hot - hot hot hot all the time. And yes, in all ways possible. I also have a recognizable belly and its not just chub anymore. Still feeling great which is amazing, but man I can feel my appitite increasing. I just want to eat all the time now ;)

A few weeks ago we went for the 'big' ultrasound. We didn't find out anything 'officially' but I think we got a shot and Baby Taurus is just about as modest as daddy (and I think has the same parts) Even Peter has jumped on the boy bandwagon.

This weekend we went to the Velvet Lounge and that sucked. But all was not lost as we played Disk golf on both sat and sun. It was amazing on sat - around 70 degrees and just beautiful. Sun was much cooler, but almost a better day because of it. Sunday i met some internet mommy & mommy-to-be buddies at Firehook on the hill. It was nice - i got a good baby fix.

Tonight is our first bradly class and ohhhhh I CAN'T WAIT!

I have a bubble in my belly

So i guess its real enough that i can begin to write about it now without some of the worry that i'll be visiting these posts in despair. (always the eternal optimist)

Today I'm officially 16w 3d pregnant!

Whoo hoo. Last night i was laying on my belly watching tv and for the first time it didn't just totally squish under me. For a moment i was like what the heck is under me, do i have a knot in my belly...nooooo its a BABY! :)

Of course that pic was taken at 8 weeks so baby is about the size of a grapefruit now. (and yes they tell me the head is in normal proportion) Technically we have our 'big' ultrasound in a few weeks, but we won't be finding anything out, soo hopefully it will be quick and as pain free as possible for baby. No need to linger any longer then normal once we check out those heart chambers.

Still feel great which is absolutely awesome. NO SICKNESS. I do get heartburn when i get hungry, but that's beyond manageable.

My obsession lately has been baby bedding. I'm thinking of making my own, but in my search for bumble bee appliques, I found another bedding set that i really really like. Hmmmm.

My So-Called (grown-up) Life

Of late, i've become a rather angry being. Yet another co-worker has move onto something bigger and better, while I waste away my days here trying (unsuccessfully) to sell our condo, get prego (also unsuccessful), and get smaller thights (you guessed - unsuccessful). What i have managed to do is accumulate an awful lot of hatred.

For example. This weekend peter goes to visit his kids. And although i far from hate them - i hate that he has to leave me to go see them. While he's away I'll be visiting with my mom and sister who just flew into town. And while on their own i love each individually, the combined entity makes my spine tingle.

My sister's cool. I'm type A - and she's cool. Always has been always will. I ask her what she's doing later on and she replies - ohhhh i dont know. Maybe this, maybe that. Ask me what i'm doing later on and its

'well first i have to empty the dishwasher, then switch the laundry, then make dinner, after dinner we'll go to home depot cause our toilet is leaking (AGAIN) then we'll come home and clean up a little cause the open-house is this weekend, hopefully get to watch 30-days, read my book for bookclub, finish the work i didn't do today cause i was busy blogging then try and muster up some sex appeal to make that baby you are all so damn interested in knowing when we're finally going to get around trying for.

So this weekend, I'll get to engage in tri-athelete competitions between my ever-spry 'cool' sister and my i-don't-look-almost-60-do-i mom. When what i really feel like doing is drinking heavily and getting my nails done.

Hi, I'm Jenn and I like weekends away with my honey

Ok maybe it doesn't even need to be weekends anymore. Thanks to this glorious (please note the alluring alliteration to torturous) job i have. Working from home may be a disaster for my social life. It may give me more cancer cells from the sun than you in a cube farm, but, but BUT i woke up this morning at 4am and drove to NYC with my man. I'm working on Madison Ave today and tonight we're going to the Blue Water Grill for dinner. Tomorrow i might try and find a wireless signal from somewhere in central park.

Ohhh h h h and on the menu tonight...crispy point Judith calamari :) hee hee hee

am i nuts? (part duex)

Personally I think I’m more obsessed with being called obsessed than I actually am obsessed.

am i nuts?

Do i really want to give this up?
Pro's
House w/Yard

Con's
J.O.B.

neighborhood bully

Lately, Miss Willoughby Newton has had free roam around our complex. Its been beautiful ourside and though we don't encourage it - when she runs out...whats a girl to do. Lately she seems to get a thrill out of going outside for 5 minutes, just to end up back on our porch under the chairs.

So today - peter and I hear terrorizing cat fight screams. Peter jumps up to inspect as we're sure its our cat and low and behold ~ It is. Only she's not really fighting with anything in particular. Just a cat ~ behind a window ~ who's looking back at her like she's a mo-ron.

Like father like daughter. Happy Fathers day!!!

P.s. it was negative.

Dear Diary 6/6/06

240lbs (morning weight)

Well don't I feel like miss Bridget Jones. Smoking units=none (damn fabulous)

Anyhoo - not much going on in the world. For the past 3 days i've acutally managed to get my ass up and to the gym. Not only that, but i've had what i consider successful workouts with each stop. I've got the 180 goal by Aug 29 and peter and i are hedging our bets. Granted this works out to about 5 lbs a week...but i figure if those folks on the biggest loser can do it - then damn it -- so can I.

The rest of this week will be torture though ~ I have training classes out in Bethesda md W-F. But i've got friends and the thought of gaining 30 more lbs scares the SHIIIIIITTTTT out of me.

Wish me luck!
~j

Dear Diary 6/4/06

June 4, 2006 – Sunday
243lbs

This past weekend was the BEST. It’s now Sunday night. It all began Thursday. Thursday morning we woke up and enjoyed the morning. As peter had a 530 flight to NYC for work – he had to leave his lady happy. Well, due to weather in NYC the flight was delayed, the flight was canceled (as were the next 3 of the evening). He finally returned from the airport around 2am and proceeded to try and drive to NYC. He got as far as Baltimore before realizing he was tired and it was just plain stupid. So he came home. Friday we worked at home (as usual these days) and had a date night to see the DaVinci Code. Personally I liked. It wasn’t ground-breaking earth-shattering, but it was good. On our way home we realized that our 4 year I-Met-You anniversary was the previous day. Being the wonderful husband that he is – we stopped by the grocery for some sparkling wine, strawberries, cream and shortbread.

Saturday we ran errands, cleaned house and just enjoyed the day. Peter asked me to go to a surprise dinner so after I got my nails did – I came home got pretty and we were off. I didn’t know the destination, but as we passed Dupont and headed up 18th I gave it my best and guessed we were going to our favorite Ethiopian restaurant. Also the site of our first dinner date in D.C. Dinner was as always amazing! Afterwards, we walked the streets of Adams Morgan. I got some great cherry smokes, peter a cigar and we roamed ~ right into a Turkish coffee shop. Peter indulged me with peach shisha and we got our coffee fix. Finally around 12 we headed back to the burbs where once again we ended the night in such ecstasy even the gods would be jealous.

Finally Sunday we kinda retuned back to normal. Again we rand errands, went to church and hung out. We also attended the worlds most difficult yoga class I have ever experienced. I don’t think it helped that we did 20 minutes of cardio before the class either, but hey – what are you gonna do?

Ok sidebar – what I really wanted to write, but didn’t. This entire weekend – the pinnacle being yesterday (the 3rd) was my most fertile day. Thus after this weekend, some major changes could be afoot. Excited YES, nervous MORE!!! I think it would be so much more digestible if we weren’t trying to move and I didn’t think that I’d have to find a new job soon as well. Ok – said it…now I just have to wait 2 weeks. Wonder how I’ll cope.

Dear Mom ~ you drive me nuts!

Ok - i'm a big girl. Techincally i'm obese ~ ohhhh. I know this, my husband knows it and anyone who sees me walking down the street knows it.

Harping on the subject and having back-door conversations with my husband and friends will not change the issue until I want to change. And frankly I'm not soo disguested with myself as you are with me. Yes - it would be fun to go into a store and pick a size 10 off the rack and walk out in it - but I can't and thats ok. I like anyone have bad days / fat days and good days too. Why do you dismiss those?

Between my husband and I - i can't imagine a less supportive family network. And we want to move back home to be around these people more...are we stupid?!?!

I'm often over-outspoken but i keep so much to myself - out of respect for you I don't mention that I think your so damn vain it makes me sick. And that your cashing in your retirement at 50 was the dumbest thing i've ever seen anyone do - that your condescending relationship with your older sister makes me want to puke. I do not mention these things out of respect and cause its none of my damn business - why the HE#% don't i deserve the same?

a world / weekend away

I have the greatest life.

Friday a few friends and I worked from one's home. Drank pina coloda's and berry martini's. Had thai for dinner and lounged at the Laughing Lizard. One of our FAV bands was playing. http://www.mesmers.com/ The fact that this also happens to be my husbands band is purely coincidental.

Saturday we wake around 11 and drag our old behind out of bed. What once was a bounce and rebound from a night of drinking, now honestly takes some coercion to even open ones eyes. Alas, we managed.

Peter played on the net for a few minutes. I presumed he was checking his e-mail and gasp - working on a weekend. Thankfully not though as he found not only a glassblowing fair, but a Victorian fair all about 3 hours south of us. Within an hour my superman and i were on the road. We had a great weekend - bought some cool souvenirs AND saw a bed race. Rather self descriptive ~ don't ya think.

Hi, I'm Jenn and I like weekends away with my honey!

trapped

Occasionally around 5pm on days i work from home i get a bug. The cleaning bug. Typically this happens when the dust bunnies are just about large enough to name. Alas Peter and i have been talking and talking about doing something at night. We’ve fallen into this horrible TV trap. So as i vacuum, Peter is anxious to get out and do something. Finally i finish, then like the call of the wild we figure its dinner time. We eat, then i suggest we head out for a nice walk or something. Nope – he’s tired now. So then guess what we do??? Carnal lovin? - Nope we watch tv and fall asleep.

Anyone else?

dieting for the rest of us

So those of you that know me know that i'm dying to get rid of these extra 80 lbs that just will not go away. I however have NOOO control.

Yesterday - south beach perfect (ok minus the twizzlers)

Today - matza w/cream cheese, but that was gross - so i swapped (ok didn't swap, but moved on to) matza w/pb&j. Much better, but it still didn't do it. So then i needed something fancy. How about 6 mini appretizer quiches in the freezer. Cool. Oh and of course a twizzler. THATS BREAKFAST! Lord, I have got to get a grip.

single again

I'm big into procrastinating. Its now 8:55 and i shoooould be working. I however just spent the last 10 minutes debating the title of this post. Should it be single again / or what not to do? Does it really make a difference? Nope, not at all. And that is beautiful!

See currently my wonderful husband is away for work. And what really sucks is that he returns in just enough time to leave me again to visit his kids. UGG. This however has drastic consequences for me. I have not had a real meal since he left. Now we both cook on a regular basis, and yes, I share some of the responsibility, but i like my motivation to work. I have no motivation to cook. I've totally given up my diet for convenience. And can't remember the last time I had a fresh vegetable. Worst part is...instead of getting UP and making something. I'll prob spend the next 30-45 minutes figuring out a way to avoid just this scenario.

Day 3 and 3 more to go.

my first love

My mom reminded me this weekend that easter has allllllllllways been my favorite holiday. In my opinion how can ANYTHING be better...you dress up (if your lucky without tights), get to wear a hat and maybe gloves. Are given candy all day and then the cherry on the pie -- PEEPS!

Weekends

Ever notice how weekends take on a life of themselves?

Wouldn't it be the best-est if you could identify yourself by what you do during the weekend, rather than what you pretend to do all week.

i.e. Hi my name is jenn and i'm a napper, this is peter my husband. He's a hiker.

Isnt that soooo much better than:

i.e. Hi my name is jenn and i'm a programmer and this is my husband peter, a recruiter.

Which one of these tells you more about who we are???

NYC

Recently I had to travel to NYC to work for a few days. Luckily my husband has the great advantage of working from home(...read, wherever he wants.)

We spent the weekend with his family. Honorable mentions of the dreadful ex and the kids and their god-like status were thankfully kept to a minimum. My only question to the general public is - what is wrong with silence? Why must some people fill it with the most inane commentary? And FURTHERMORE, why bitch? Didn't your mother teach you "if you don't have something nice to say then don't say anything at all"? Or how about my favorite bathroom wallpaper adage "how are you is a greeting, not a question - don't tell guests about your indigestion". Honestly if i took this crew at face value for their conversations they would all be in jeopardy of being committed and on suicide watch. This however is normal. A norm, I hope to NEVER endorse, engage in or accept.

But then the goods time began. Sun afternoon we arrived at our swankified Times Square hotel. Monday I took the train to Newark (you didn't think that i actually got to work on a gov't contract in manhattan did you?!?!) We celebrated with dinner at l'ecole (french culinary institute). It was incredible! I consider peter quite the wine snob, but let me tell you ~ we have a thing to learn. For the most part, we choose wines that go nicely with dinner. These catapulted the meal into a whole new realm of fantastic! Then to top the night off we saw Jacques Pepin as he was leaving. Our first NYC celeb sighting. Ok, perhaps he's not as popular as Katie's alien baby, but when your a chubby girl who loves to cook, he's a GOD!

Tues work was the same miserable beast. However instead of a dinner focus ~ I was going to the gershwin theater to try and win tickets to WICKED. OMG I WON! Ironically we almost didn't get to go as peter forgot to mention that minor detail paying for the tickets with CASH. H-E-L-L-O i don't normally carry more then the change in our sofa at the bottom of my purse. And that’s assuming that i haven't changed purses within the last 24 hours, which in itself is highly unlikely. Well by some grace of god there was a women there who understood purses and when i offered her mine in exchange for $25, she laughed and said 'honey your good for it' and gave me the cash. Someone just gave me $25 in cash in NYC!

I spent the entire first act with tears streaming down my face from shear excitement. It was amazing. The stage, the costumes, the voices.

I was spellbound