Monday, March 06, 2006


So the last of my grandparents just passed away last week. Apparently it happened last Monday night in her sleep. I didn't go home for the funeral, but my man and I did celebrate Grandma Minnie in our own little way. I made Albanian cheese pies and we drank ouzo. However I'm writing to share the oddness which surrounds my family and death.

A few years ago I had the most bizarre and beautiful dream. I dreamt that my maternal grandmother (Grandma Betty) who had passed a few years ago, asked me to speak with my paternal grandmother (Grandma Lois), currently living with Alzheimer's. Of course I say ok and proceed down this hallway. At the end, I opened a door to the sun-room of my family's club. It was her favorite room in the world. (Every Easter she would prefer to eat in there rather than the ballroom and if tables weren't set up, she would just sit and feel beautiful in the warm sunlight, while we all ran around chasing Easter eggs.) We chatted for what in dream-world felt like hours. I told her how much fun it was living in DC. What motorcades were like, the non-profit work I did, about my roommate, the new man I met and loved, his children, etc. EVERYTHING. (She's been in a home for years and sadly, after a particularly painful visit, I never returned. ) Finally she kissed me on the cheek and said good night. I got up and walked away - back out of the sunroom and down the dark hall. As I was leaving I woke up with tears. Quasi happy cathartic tears. I woke up Peter and tell him about my dream. I particularlly remember saying - its almost like I said goodbye to her. He tells me that sweet - pats me on the head, and we go back to sleep.

The next morning around 10 am, I receive a call from my mother telling me that my grandmother passed away last night in her sleep.

That’s probably my favorite my-granparents-are-still-there story. But due to recent events a smaller, but equally impacting event happened.

Last week I was in San Diego on business. On Monday I had a late/late lunch with some co-workers. We had made a special trip to the Hotel Del on Coronado Island. Somewhere towards the end of the meal I made an odd comment about how I had this overwhelming feeling that my father or grandfather was going to come up from behind me and rest his hand on my shoulder. I don't know why, but I almost felt as it had already happened. Somehow within seconds I felt cold, hot, then calmed. It was if someone had told me it was all going to be ok. But I was beyond fine and having a great time in San Diego, so I didn't get it.

Since returning from San Diego, I have had to deal my step-grandmothers passing, problems with my man and his past, my kitty getting a hysterectomy by a butcher and too much at work for one person to deal with.

Oh to behold the knowledge of life, before you have to experience its pains!

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